Social referencing can be referred to as an important tool that helps infants to get familiar with their new environment, new people as well as objects that form a part of their new world. This also occurs when a child reads facial expressions and uses the information to make decisions.

When born, an infant is new to the environment, right? But, how do they get familiar with their surroundings? In fact, how did we people grow and how did any human being get used to their atmosphere? Answer for all these questions points to social referencing.

Even from their sixth month, kids begin using social referencing as a way to get a deeper understanding of their immediate environment. With age, the child will be using social referencing more than earlier and slowly they will start responding to their parent’s action.

Babies take signals from the emotional response of caregivers or parents and shape their responses accordingly. For instance, if they notice a shiny object on the floor and were beginning to take it, they will look at their parents or the one who is taking care of them to know whether it is fine for them to touch that.

A parent’s single action will be the reference for the baby to decide whether to touch it or not. With the caretaker’s influence, the child will learn to express both positive as well as negative emotions, which means that expressing emotions is closely related to social as well as educational pressures of family and the surroundings.

Social as well as expressive skills help kids to

  • Get a clear understanding of the life they have to live
  • Shape the future and achieve control during the transition stage
  • Co-operate and play with peers
  • Concentration to their parents’ or teachers’ instructions
  • Complete a learning process and learn about the ways to control emotions

With social referencing, children will read the emotional meaning of other person’s facial expressions and thus emotional development will occur throughout their life.

From the kid’s stage to adulthood, the child has to pass through many stages of social and emotional development. Parents can also analyze the growing stages of their child, which are –

Soon after birth (0 to 6 months)

Social interactions would develop within six months after birth. During this phase, your baby would –

  • Look at their hands and legs
  • Suck the fingers
  • Respond to your touch and smile
  • Try to find out where you are touching
  • Respond to your call in 3rd to 6th month
  • Smile at certain sounds you make

Before first birthday (6 months to 1 year)

During this stage, your kid is more likely to understand the family members whom they see often. You can also expect the baby to

  • Express pleasure, fear, unhappiness and even anger
  • Differentiate between family and other strangers
  • Respond to your actions and even imitate after 9 months
  • The self holds the cup from which they are drinking water
  • Try eating small pieces of food himself
  • Express sadness when taken away from you

Before the Second Birthday (1-2 years)

Now, he’s a baby explorer. More time will be spent on finding new things and places around him, in monitoring people around and thus developing a sense of self-awareness.

Expect your kid too –

  • Be happy when you praise them for anything they do
  • Identify his mirror image
  • Well imitate your action and speech
  • Take initiative in helping you with your work
  • Express anger and frustration

Toddler Stage (2 to 3 years)

Now your kid is more creative and will be confident enough in all their actions. In this stage, your baby will–

  • Show interest in playing with other kids and will like their company
  • Be able to know their gender – a boy or girl
  • Try to put the dress on and remove it himself
  • Say yes or no based on their moods and interests
  • Make choices in their dress, food, toys as well as games
  • Self-protective attitude about their own toys

Within the fourth year

In this age, your toddler is grown and will be involved in diverse activities physically which helps to increase their self-confidence level. They will be –

  • More independent during this stage
  • Able to follow the orders you give
  • Show interest in sharing their toys with friends or siblings
  • Perform certain activities independently

After the Fourth Year (4 to 6 years)

After four years old, your child will be much aware of their personality. With much interest in involving games and such activities, they will also develop skills of thinking and reasoning.

You can also expect your child to:

  • Compare him with other kids
  • Stay friendly with their companion kids
  • Differentiate good as well as bad behavior
  • Show interest in playing competitive games
  • Try to know what others feel like
  • Learn to follow all the instructions in the right way

School Stage (7 to 12 years)

In this stage when your child starts going to school, you can notice more changes in them. Also, expect your child to learn more skills including

  • Following almost all rules well
  • Forming teams in a formal manner
  • Interacting well with friends
  • Expressing more interest in certain school subjects

Adolescent stage (12 to 20 years)

At this age, your son or daughter will have many questions and confusion. Your child may –

  • Answer all your questions in a much satisfactory way
  • Be more aware of the appearance
  • Consider getting eternal and true friendship
  • Like to be alone at times

Monitor these changes in your child’s life, which helps with their well being.

I hope these details help you learn how social referencing helps in your children’s emotional as well as cultural development.

If you have noticed that your child has poor handwriting, then the chances are that they are facing Dysgraphia. In the U.S. alone, over 17 percent of the population faces this issue, and many among them are not even aware of it.

However, through this post, you will come to know about this condition in detail. It will also give you the right way of helping your child overcome this condition if he or she has it.

Let’s get started.

What is Dysgraphia?

dysgraphia

Dysgraphia is a condition that affects an individual’s writing ability.

Dysgraphia can exist in the form of problems involving poor handwriting, spelling, and lacking the ability to write expressive content. Dysgraphia can exist as a linguistic or/and non-linguistic disability.

Do not confuse Dysgraphia with poor handwriting, as it is a severe neurological condition. It is usually seen in children during their initial days of learning the ability to write. There is a lack of solid proof that explains why this happens, but treating at an early stage can help reduce or prevent this issue.

When you hold a pen or pencil to write, it feels quite natural to you. But, the process is complicated in reality. It needs intricate processing and motor skills to shape the words on paper. An average person can do it with ease due to a healthy condition. But, the same is not the case for a person with Dysgraphia.

Writing needs an individual to operate the finger and hand muscles to express ideas in the form of letters on paper.

Furthermore, Dysgraphia, which is due to a linguistic disability, may be identified to exist in a person based on his/her difficulty to transform language sounds to written symbols.

It can also be characterized by his/her lack of understanding about which spelling is usable for individual sounds.

Also Read: 10 Reasons Why Students Fail Mathematics

Someone with Dysgraphia may mistake the correct alignment of letters, and they might end up writing letters in reverse.

They may lack the ability to remember the accurate positioning of symbols or to use upper- or lowercase letters.

Additionally, an individual with Dysgraphia may find it troubling to write sentences with proper punctuation and grammar. Such a person may show issues like:

  • Improper placement of words
  • Incorrect use of verbs
  • Omitting words
  • Wrong utilization of ending words
  • Error in the usage of pronouns

Despite the lack of ability to write sentences correctly, people with this condition may communicate verbally with ease and fluency.

As for people with non-linguistic driven Dysgraphia, there is a lack of coordination of motor skills while writing.

The general term of reference for this condition is apraxia, which in itself comprises of several types of motor skill disorders.

So, there is an impairment in the proper execution of motor skills to perform purposeful movements.

What Are The Different Types of Dysgraphia?

Five distinct types of Dysgraphia exist medically. Some kids may also show more than one kind of Dysgraphia in them. It should be noted that the actual symptoms may vary from the ones listed under each type.

1) Dyslexic Dysgraphia

In dyslexic Dysgraphia, an individual may be able to copy signs and symbols correctly but may lack the ability to write correct spellings. Furthermore, he/she may write illegible sentences when written spontaneously. A person with Dyslexia Dysgraphia may or may not have Dyslexia. The finger tapping test (FTT), which is used for testing the motor speed skills, are regular in such a person.

2) Motor Dysgraphia

This medical condition is because of a lack of functioning motor skills, poor muscle tone, and reduced ability. The affected person may also show clumsiness.

His/her writing abilities, including coping skills, are also illegible or deficient. Such an individual may be able to form short writing samples, but that too needs a lot of effort and time to accomplish at an acceptable level – which is not appropriate for practicality. There is also slant in the writing style as the person is unable to hold a pencil or pen correctly. Spellings might still be fine in this case.The FTT speeds for such an individual are below average.

3) Spatial Dysgraphia

This disability is present in those who cannot understand space. The work written spontaneously is illegible in such a person. Even the copied work is illegible.

However, students suffering from spatial Dysgraphia may write normal spelling and show average FTT speeds.

Such students may also find it hard to write with proper spacing between words and keep the letters within lines.

4) Phonological Dysgraphia

This type of Dysgraphia causes impairment of phonetically irregular and unfamiliar words in the affected individual. Such people cannot also recall phonemes (the unit of sound to differentiate one linguistic word from another) or use the appropriate to create a word.

5) Lexical Dysgraphia

Lexical Dysgraphia is present in an individual who is unable to distinguish patterns generated from sounds to create letters for words.

As a result, they often end up creating irregular or misspelled words. Such a case is generally seen in less-phonetic languages like French and English. Children rarely face this type of Dysgraphia.

Causes of Dysgraphia

Here is a list of reasons for Dysgraphia. These issues may or may not be found in dyslexia as well.

1) Brain Damage

Brain damage usually takes place when oxygen supply is reduced to the organ. This can happen due to:

  • Head stroke or injury
  • an effect of high temperature
  • a near-drowning experience

An individual affected by brain damage can have poor handwriting. Developing legible handwriting for such a person is delayed, but achievable. For facilitating that, such a person may require care and affection to improve.

2) Deformity or physical illness

This can occur in a child due to an accident, an illness, or a birth defect.

If he/she has paralysis due to a damaged nerve(s), then his/her handwriting may suffer. The issue, in some cases, can be improvised by patients to write legibly.

3) The intentionally bad writing style

This one may not have a direct relation to Dysgraphia or dyslexia, but several individuals who do this might have a high probability of being dyslexic.

People who write bad grammar, punctuation, or spellings may end up with poor handwriting intentionally so that they can hide their lack of skills.

Such limitations can be a cause of Dysgraphia. This issue can be dealt with if the student is monitored for his use of grammar, punctuation, and spellings while instructing him to write legibly.

But, poor writing is not always the case. Some may show signs of confusion neurologically. The other steps might have to be taken.

4) Lack of Instructions

Some students do not get the necessary instructions to practice legible writing from the beginning. The development of Dysgraphia or dyslexia in such children is common.

It might be possible that they did receive guidance, but their ability to grasp those methods might have been limited. Due to disorientation in the child, he/she might not have been able to understand the instructions for writing correctly.

In such a case, a parent or teacher, involved with the kid, might not have been able to realize that the child was confused about the simple instructions given to other kids with normal motor functioning.

Once the confusion of the child is amended, his/her ability to write legibly is accomplished. Then the child can also be taught the right way of penmanship to create the letters and symbols properly.

5) Disorientation

This is a condition where a person cannot focus when there is a need to process motor skills to accomplish a task.

When disorientation is related to Dysgraphia, then a person with this issue may not have proper coordination to write words, letters, or symbols.

A person, who is in an orientated state, witnesses a catalyst that causes him/her to become disoriented, maybe for a very short period. But, this split-second confusion causes his/her writing to become illegible.

The disorientation in a child might be possible when he/she gets stimulated due to sudden action. This action is usually not related to an external object, but due to emotion from within.

It might be confusing that causes someone to disorient from a writing task, just like in dyslexia. Most people, who suffer from dyslexia, face disorientation when they see befuddling letters and symbols.

Most students are able to deal with this when the confusing word is accompanied by a picture or an illustration.

But, how words that do not accompany images, confused them.

This happens as dyslexics perceive words with their meanings and visual representations, not with the word groups or sounds. Overall, a disoriented student is likely to develop Dysgraphia.

6) Thinking Several Images in the Mind

Many individuals with Dysgraphia can picture the exact image of a word to copy it correctly on paper. But, when the same word is being taught to them to be written in multiple styles, they end up with too much pressure on the mind.

For instance, a child is trying to copy his/her name from the blackboard which his/her teacher wrote. The kid has a clear picture of how the word is to be spelled.

But, suddenly the teacher writes the same name again in a slightly different way, leading to confusion in the mind of the child.

Plus, the teacher gives several instructions to the child to spell the name in a specific order. This can result in the kid developing unusual motor skills, like holding the pencil too tight, becoming anxious, and whatnot. As a result, he might end up with Dysgraphia.

Symptoms of Dysgraphia

People can show the following signs that may increase their chances of developing Dysgraphia:

1) Improper Formation of Letters

A dysgraphic child may find it hard to understand the combination of curves and lines. It might be struggling for him or her to produce letters and copying pen strokes.

It might also be difficult for the child to conclude the size and spacing of the letters.

This is noticeable from the starting of the learning stage of the child, as he or she struggles to write in a normal way like other children of the same age.

There may also be a disproportionate pattern in the letters. Writing lowercase letters may be a daunting task for them, as they are usually smaller in size and have more curved lines than uppercase ones.

This makes it harder for them to wield a pencil or pen. This symptom may also show signs of reverse letters, unnecessary capitalizations, lack of ability to write in cursive, etc.

Overall the letters produced are mostly illegible.

2) Frustration and Pain While Writing

Kids with Dysgraphia also grumble about a hurting hand while writing. This is due to a lack of development of motor skills to write healthily.

They might have an inappropriate elbow and wrist position that makes it harder for them to withstand the grip for prolonged intervals.

At times such children may have it difficult to keep the paper aligned under their hands, as they cannot apply the pressure calculatedly to keep it steady.

All such issues distract them and prevent them from writing letters on paper thoughtfully. There is also a complaint of strained posture and unnatural movements during writing.

3) Spacing Issues

Symptoms related to Dysgraphia can also include spacing problems between sentences, words, or/and letters. It can be challenging for such individuals to produce text from right to left.

They also find it hard to keep letters in a straight line, especially when writing equations in mathematics. You will often witness that a person with Dysgraphia will have trouble writing in tiny boxes like in a maths notebook.

4) Poor Spelling

With troubled writing abilities, children with Dysgraphia are often poor at spellings. They will make mistakes quite frequently while writing words. Moreover, the English language has so many intricate rules that are confusing for such kids to follow.

5) Hesitation To Complete Work

With so many writing issues, such children will show signs of avoiding schoolwork. Their inabilities to write error-free and legibly makes them hesitant to complete work at school or home. Their abilities to work efficiently even makes them skip school days, leading to a decline in their performance.

6) Lack of Confidence

Children who may have Dysgraphia also feel negative about their self-image. Such individuals frequently get embarrassed when they have to write something on paper. This can further lead them to perceive themselves poorly.

Diagnosing Dysgraphia

To learn whether a child is suffering from Dysgraphia or not, a pediatrician will diagnose him or her. However, the doctor will also make sure to see if some other illness or disorder might not be the case.

Once other illnesses are ruled out, an accredited psychologist who knows how to deal with learning conditions will help you diagnose your child for Dysgraphia. Even a psychologist present at your child’s school can help with that if he or she is qualified.

Such a specialist will start with certain writing and academic assessments that will calibrate the abilities of the child. Such tests are a way to see the coordination between the child’s thoughts and motor skills.

Some common ways of diagnosing children for Dysgraphia that doctors use are:

  • Instructing the child to rotate his or her wrist in a particular way.
  • Making the kid tap his or her fingers.
  • Asking the child to write words or sentences or to copy letters.

While involving a child in such activities, the psychologist will try to examine his or her writing process, posture, pencil grip, body and hand position, and the completed work.

Treatment For Dysgraphia

You might not be able to find a promised cure for Dysgraphia. However, the treatment differs individually.

Each child may need to be treated in a varying way to help him or her get over the condition. Some doctors also prescribe medications that are often used for ADHD as well.

How Can I Help My Child?

Parents can help their children with Dysgraphia are some of the following ways:

  • Make your child learn the various letters through touching rather than seeing. For instance, you can draw the symbols on their hands so they can understand how each symbol can be written.
  • Have your kid practice creating letters with the help of graph paper, ruler, etc. That will help them align words better.
  • Teach the child to write big so that it is easier to understand how the letters need to be created. With time, you can make them practice writing smaller letters gradually.
  • Children can also use clay to create letters and symbols to practice while enjoying. This also decreases the pressure they have built due to Dysgraphia.
  • Avoid criticizing them when they are writing, even if the work is sloppy. Always praise them for the efforts and encourage them to improve further.
  • You can make your child use various pencil grips that will help to write comfortably.
  • Use stress-relieving balls that children can squeeze to release strain on their hands. That will improve their writing skills.
  • Teach other exercises that will help them reduce their stress before writing. Some routines include rubbing together, rotating wrists, etc.
  • Besides writing, let them learn typing on a computer as well. Make them familiarize the letters as early as possible.
  • Have them work out to improve their muscles and overall physical stability. A strong body is likely to write efficiently.
  • Let them speak the words and symbols as they write on the paper. Also, remember to make them write while holding the paper with the other hand for better coordination of motor skills.

Conclusion

Dysgraphia is more of a challenge that can be overcome with the right guidance. Sometimes all it takes is a push to make a child get over the condition. On the other hand, children can also face this problem lifelong.

Also Read: General Knowledge for Kids with Answers (105 Q & A)

Children with Dysgraphia can feel better through efforts made by their parents or with the help of capable doctors. If your child has been facing issues like Dysgraphia, then make sure to create a training regimen for them to get better at their writing skills.

 “Raising children is a creative endeavor, an art rather than a science.” – Bruno Bettelheim

Raising children’s rights is a responsible parent cannot wash hands from. Though parents love to lecture their children, they seldom focus on the real problem.

Schooling has got a direct influence on a child’s development and achievements. Rather than focussing on books, schools nowadays promoting the EYFS syllabus for the betterment of children. The play and learn method is much appreciated. EYFS syllabus helps to overcome many child-related problems.

Few Effective Tips for Parents:

  1. Praise Your Child

“ Compliments cost nothing, yet many pay dearly for them.” – Thomas Fuller

It’s a great feeling when someone you really care about compliments you on something. Imagine the impact of compliments that can leave on your kids. A child well praised and accepted by their parents can change the world for better. There is a substantial relationship between confidence and compliments. Next time praise your child even for their minor achievements.

Also Read: 25 Best Crossword Puzzles For Kids 

  1. Relationships are Forever

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”James A. Baldwin

It’s hard for parents to teach children about building and maintaining relationships, but you can easily show them. An emotional connection with others can fuel children with happiness and acceptance. They feel wanted and happy. It helps them cultivate enthusiasm and openness towards the world. Not only building but also maintaining relationships must be taught.

  1. Honesty

” No legacy is so rich as honesty.”William Shakespeare

From their early years, teach children about the importance of honesty in life. Don’t blame them or punish them when they honestly admit their mistakes. Show them the importance of honesty not only in your words but through your deeds as well. Be a role-model for your children.

  1. Rules

“Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”  – Harry Day

It’s a myth that rules create rebels. Children should be made to follow some rules for their better upbringing.  Family environment becomes more peaceful with well-disciplined children. Although children don’t enjoy the concept of restrictions, it can make them understand the importance of safety.  Convince them to follow the rules.

  1. More Playtime

“Life is more fun if you play games.” Roald Dahl

Even schools emphasize the importance of playtime with the EYFS syllabus. While playing, they learn many things. Never underestimate the change, play can bring.  You can even consider spending time with your children while they play, they’ll love it.  Stop taking playtime playfully.

6) Love your kids and show them through action

“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them”-   Richard L Evans

Show your love

Love your children unconditionally. Loving them too much cannot spoil them. But what you choose to do or give them in the name of love can. When you give things like material indulgence, over-protection, low expectation etc in the place of real love, you are sure to have a spoiled child instead.

Love your child in a way so that they feel it and get closer to you. Remember to spend time with your kids and hug them often. You should also show a serious approach to their issues.

Showing these acts of love can bring them emotional warmth, a deep sense of calm, and contentment.

7) Be a Safe haven for your kids

“Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them.”

  — Lady Bird Johnson, Former First Lady of the United State

Love and care your child in a way letting them know you will be always there as their moral and mental support for them to rely upon.

Parents should be responsive to their signals and sensitive to their needs. Each child is different in their own way so be open to accept each one as an individual. Always stand as a warm, safe haven for your kids to explore from.

Children raised up by responsive parents tend to have better emotional and social development and healthy mental outcomes.

8) Read to Your Child

“If my books can help children become readers, then I feel I have accomplished something important”- Roald Dahl

Make it a habit to read to your kids. Be it during bedtime or any leisure time. This helps to grow a special bonding with your kids.

Reading to them can help them learn new things, explore ideas etc. Engage your little ones by asking them what will happen to the plot, with characters etc.

Let them help with picking the stories.

9) Allow your kids to do things themselves

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” – Peter T. Mcintyre

Though it is difficult, give them chances to do things alone. It gives them a sense of independence. Help and teach them making mistakes is alright.

Remember the good old day when you successfully made cookies or candy yourself. Maybe, you took several times to get it done, but, in the end, it was a success and you felt good. Same is the case with your kids too.

Help your child to grow up with confidence and face challenges bravely.

10) Celebrate as a Family as often as you can

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.” –John Wooden

Happy families make happy children.

Happy and ideal families celebrate all small and big occasions together. Be it the end of a busy week, job promotion, good grade, festivals or holidays, etc; celebrate all happy occasions with your family.

Also Read: 10 Healthy Drinks For Kids besides water

Celebrations can be made simple as going outside and having food, going to parks or malls, going for a movie or throwing a surprise party and so on.

Final thoughts

Though raising your child is often hard, the end is always rewarding. The end part always comes as a result of hard work and patience parents deliver. So, if we try our best now we will eventually reap the rewards happily.

While parents evaluate schools depending on the rating of institutions like KHDA and ADEC, are they giving adequate importance to the mentality of children?

The answer is a plain NO. Even though you come across the mood fluctuations of children, you never take it seriously. To survive in the modern world, surpassing education is not enough; priority goes to the attitude.

One among the most prominent attitude problem in children is the feeling of being a victim – the victim mentality.

What is victim mentality?

Victim mentality is a rotten attitude where your child assumes that he/she is always the victim. That’s far beyond childish. And as a responsible parent, you must not ignore such instincts in your child.

Never ignore, listen!

“It’s not fair!”, “that’s not my fault”, you won’t understand”. These might be some among the countless yelling your child makes when upset. Normally you ignore it or just console them saying that things will be fine. But that’s not enough. The problem is with the mentality of the children. If he thinks himself to be a victim he will begin to feel like one.

But the good news is that you can change your child’s attitude.

Simple steps to set things on track!

“The problem that we have with a victim mentality is that we forget to see the blessings of the day. Because of this, our spirit is poisoned instead of nourished.” – Steve Maraboli

  1. Be Clear: 

From their victim behaviour, it is clear that they are unaware about the difference between fair and unfair. With love and care, make them understand that life can be unfair sometimes but not always. Sharing with them your personal experiences of failure is also effective.

Dos and Don'ts while communicating with children

  • “Life can be biased sometimes, but that doesn’t mean it will be like this forever”

X “There is nothing like fair and unfair, it’s your fault”

2. Solve It

If your child faces any problem that makes him/her the victim, ask them how they are going to deal with it. To run away or to blame about problems is not the right way of dealing it. Encourage your children to keep trying until they succeed.

Dos and Don'ts while communicating with children

  • “It’s just part of life, how you handle it is important.”

X “You cannot succeed, I knew it”

3. Don’t argue

If you realise that the child is being treated unfairly, never argue with them for the opposite. If his/her teacher is treating your child badly then don’t ignore. Listen to them and talk to them about the problems and make them believe that, you are there for them.

Dos and Don'ts while communicating with children

  • “It’s not your fault but theirs. Don’t worry about anything. I am here for you”

X   “That teacher always treats you badly. I don’t think she likes you”

4. Responsibilities

Taking care of your child every time your child feels a victim is good. But you must never ignore that you should teach them to take responsibilities of their actions as well. It can be chaos at first but later this will fetch confidence and courage in your child.

Dos and Don'ts while communicating with children

  • Be yourself and that’s not tough

X If you want me to do anything, obey me

#Always remember

Change doesn’t happen overnight. You should bring it and it might take time, but never be disheartened. The core function of our plan is to make our children responsible individuals with a positive outlook towards life.

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow” – Helen Keller

“A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone” -Billy Graham

Parents always choose the best for their children.  When it’s about selecting the school, they often depend on institutions like KHDA and ADEC. Choosing the best school is not enough for the betterment of your child. Helping your child to become a better human being must be the top most priority.

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Most parents are tired of the disrespectful attitude of their children. They believe that there is no way out of it and the only remedy is to ignore. Guess what? You can have control over your child’s behaviour without much effort.

Behaviour that cultivates disrespect in children and ways to tackle them:

  1. Over-react

Children get angry when parents express their frustration in different ways. They find it really annoying when you connect their kiddish behaviour personally or to the next level. Every time your child talks to you and spend time with you, never over-react for the little things you find annoying.

What the child feels: Its better not to communicate with parents, as they won’t understand us.

What you can do instead: Understand their problems. Be a friend to them. You won’t take the jokes and mistakes of your friend personally, right? That’s what works here too. Children might run out of track may be because of their frustration with studies or any other reason. Promote maximum interaction with children. What they need is your time.

  1. Dealing with other people

We understand that you might be tangled with the problems from the boss, loud neighbours and irritating family members. Your possibilities of having a bad day are far higher than your kids. That doesn’t mean you can showcase your problems before your children.

Kids are watching you. Never show your bad behaviour to anyone in front of them. And if you do, don’t be surprised when your kids do the same.

What the child feels: They never feel anything, they just imitate you!

What you can do instead:  Be what you want your kids to be. First be a good human being, then a good parent. That’s not hard.

  1. My child can never go wrong

“I will take the side of my child no matter what”, you think your child will love when you do this. Yes, of course but what you are doing to your children is not less than a crime.

For instance, if your children talks disrespectfully about their teachers for giving them tiring homework, never take their side. Even if you know that the home work is hectic, never join with your kid and complain about the teacher.  When you take the side of your child, you are showing them that it’s ok to be disrespectful to someone you are angry with.

What the child feels: Its ok to rude to someone you are anger with.

What to do instead: You don’t need to agree with someone in order to respect them. Regardless of how they feel, they should always respect their elders. Teach your child to deal with disagreements appropriately and calmly.

  1. Ignoring the good things

Notice the good things in your child’s behaviour. Appreciate them for their brighter side. Constantly reminding them about their mistakes and flaws can only make things worse. Appreciate them for what they are and not what you want them to be.

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What the child feels: It’s impossible to impress parents. No need to be good all the time because it’s the flaws that always gets noticed.

What you should do instead: Kids respond positively to praise. They feel motivated to be better.

  1. Demanding respect

Demanding respect never works. It’s a misconception of parents that by the authority they can make their children do anything.  Ultimately respect is a feeling and you cannot force your child to feel something for you.

What the child feels: It’s just a rule to respect parents.

What to do instead:  Make them understand the importance of respect but don’t force them to do so. Let them realise that you are there for them.

So many researches and studies are going on about the relevance of our gradation system in schools. There had been various discussions about the advantages and disadvantages of gradation system in schools. This is a very important area that is to be studied seriously. Whether to stop or to continue this gradation system is an ongoing debate for the last few years.

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What is the purpose of gradation system?

The main function of the grades is to inform the parents, guardians and others how the student is performing in studies. This is to be done with at most attention and care and without any prejudice or partiality. It is a very private thing; unfortunately, it is done in a very public way.

Teacher app ad bannerAdvantages of gradation at school level:

  • Helps in self improvement to some extent
  • Enables students to fix a target and to work hard to attain it.
  • Makes the parents aware of the performance and standard of their children at school. That helps the parents to give necessary attention for them.
  • Makes students more objective.
  • Gives students competition spirit.

Disadvantages of gradation at school:

  • It is incomplete. It is not possible to asses all the learning and skills of all students using the same scale. Some skills cannot be measured.
  • It creates inequality among students.
  • To get higher grades, some students choose tasks much below their capacity. They won’t dare to be creative or innovative in their assignments.
  • It de-motivates students.
  • Those who get higher grades may feel proud and tend to deviate from studies.

How gradation psychologically affects students?

Our present gradation system announces the quantified results in the public. It really affects student’s psyche. Receiving a lower grade and everyone knowing about it, is really matter of shame. No one would like to show the low grades they received to others. If they are getting low grades continuously, they may feel that they are out of track and sometimes, they may quit education.

The low grades students receive in schools make them feel inferior to their classmates and that make them depressed. A division is created between the students who obtain higher grades and lower grades and an attitude of superiority and inferiority gets developed in them.

In the fear of getting lower grades, the students who obtain higher grade won’t take risky or innovative tasks and choose simple tasks, much below their caliber. This keeps them away from learning or experimenting new things. Actually, it makes them cowards.

The comparisons made by parents and teachers about the grades students got will affect them badly. It can even make them detached from the society.

How to solve this issue?

It is not possible to stop gradation in all levels. But the educators must understand that all results cannot be quantified and all learning cannot be assessed. They must inform the parents about the child’s performance, thereby, making the parents a part of this assessment or grading, as well. They are also responsible for the success or failure of the student.

Give them a qualitative feedback than a quantitative report card. Make it a weekly activity if possible. Let the parents also take part in these feedback sessions as far as possible. This can be done easily with Parent Portal.

Parent Portal

Edsys provides Parent Portal which makes parent-teacher communication an easy task. Every day, the teacher can inform the parents about the performance of the student. No need to wait for months or terms. So, the parents can guide or help the child to improve. It will be far effective than punishing after a terminal evaluation. Parents can also give their feedback though the Parent Portal.

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The parents can always have an eye on the students’ activities at schools using the Smart Cards for schools. It helps them to track their attendance in class and school bus. It helps the parents to know about the books they borrow from the library, the time they spend there, the purchases they make from the school store etc.

A proper intervention of parents at the proper time can reduce the shock given by the low grades. Nowadays, we have so many ways to do that. Parent Portal, School Apps, Smart Cards etc. are very useful for this purpose.

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